we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
