you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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