We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
