I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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