K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
