I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
