Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
