best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
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