And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
