yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i now understand why vodka
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
