I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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