I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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