I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
