The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
