I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
