Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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