There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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