My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
