You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
