My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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