i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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