and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
