Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My life is pants optional.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
