Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize