are you still at the devil's house?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
