I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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