so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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