dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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