She just used a chaser for red wine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
