Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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