I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
