she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
