he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
