Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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