my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I stole a fireplace last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
