I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
