I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
