There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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