There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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