Me. At least after what I've been through.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
