dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
