my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
