I bet he comes in French.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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