We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize
