was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
