Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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