Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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