you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
