can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
