I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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