Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
