Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
