You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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