you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize