I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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