quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
