I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize