I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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