Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
