She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
