I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
