Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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